you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
