the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
sex in a hospital.. check
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
