i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Randomize