HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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