Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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