I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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