I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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