Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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