we're blogging at a bar
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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