I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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