Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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