I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
