We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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