Only a mothe r could love this liver
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize