I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
