you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
