I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i think i have two assholes
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
