I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
