it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
