Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize