Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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