at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
