when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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