Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
