the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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