I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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