he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You don't make any sense
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