I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
