Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
