i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
