the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
