I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
