dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
