Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
