All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
