The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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