dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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