Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
