shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
