bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
