guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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