dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
