when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
