Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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