The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
