Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
