girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
