walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
