im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
