It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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