Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
