Whod you bang
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
