I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
