The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
