overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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