Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
