Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
