I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
