Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
