I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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