Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize