I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize