Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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